How to Save a Life

Essay Contest 2nd Place – Lunakit Fae

Foam fighting saved my life and made me stronger as a person and as a mother. As an introvert, I have trouble with people. As someone on the “spectrum” of Asperger/autism, I am easily overstimulated by the world around me. I am a survivor of bullying, assault, and abuse, and I grew up with undiagnosed, untreated PTSD. Somewhere along the way I either forgot or never learned how to function in society. To save my sanity, I shut down, but forgot how to turn it all back on again. I rarely played with other kids, except during sports, and eventually, anxiety stopped me from doing all the things that brought me joy. After trying times as a teenager and young adult, I became a chameleon, becoming whoever I needed to be to survive to the next day.

Then my child was born; my world shattered in the best and worst kinds of ways. The outside world flooded back in in full force as I realized I would do anything to keep my daughter safe, but I had never learned how to keep myself safe. All those years of being someone else’s punching bag or doormat made me think that I was not fit to be the mother that she deserved. That changed when I found foam fighting.

“…I have awakened a warrior goddess.”

For me, foam fighting is uninhibited FUN. It taps into something childlike and whimsical while also unlocking something fierce and primal. It is the ultimate video game, only I get to keep my life and my experience every time I start over. During every fight I am learning, releasing repressed emotions, and getting a workout all at once. I have watched units inspire unity, family, and teamwork. I want those things in my everyday life.

Not only have I become a stronger, braver mother, but I have awakened a warrior goddess. I have found confidence that I could never find in a makeup aisle. I am learning that I am a BAMF beneath my kindness, someone who is approachable but no longer a push-over. The social interaction has completely overhauled my view of the people around me. Fighting awakened in me the courage to face each day as the best version of myself. Foam fighting is my therapy. Now I have the ability to co-op life with my daughter. I can be the best support system and role model I can possibly be for her. I can prove to her that women can be strong and still have fun, that even as we grow up we don’t have to leave fun behind. Foam fighting has reawakened the child within and I feel a sense of camaraderie I’ve never had before. My power level is over 9000 and I am just getting through the tutorials of foam fighting. I can only get better from here. It has helped me understand the person I am meant to be while helping me overcome fears and trauma. Foam fighting didn’t just improve my life, it gave it back.

See all of the Essay Contest winners here.